Can You Keep Your Cool?

When was the last time something unexpected popped up that stole your focus, or derailed your whole day?

Something gnarly happens!  Are you more likely to "lose your shit," or keep your cool when something gets in your way?  Will you get stormy, or be calm?

I've discovered that anyone can learn ways to stay focused and stick to the mission, even when they're on the verge of freaking out.  

A few years ago something kinda crazy happened to me, and I realized I could help others learn how to prioritize on the fly, especially when it counts.

When the guard cleared me to go, I crept forward, but as I felt the security barrier rising up underneath my car, I floored the gas pedal! I heard metal scraping, and my adrenaline surged! I barely made it through the gate and turned toward the parking areas before I started to process what happened. I needed to find a place to stop and assess the damage! It was dark and a misty rain was starting, so I put my window down to better see parking spaces, and heard a loud rhythmic hissing from the tires...

Panic started swirling in my mind, but I still had a job to do.

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They had hired me for a 2-hour team presentation, so after a quick visual check around and under my car to see that nothing obvious was going to blow up, I put my shaking hands to use and started carrying in my bags and boxes.

I had visited my client's office fortress once before. The security going in was extraordinary; it was like a Transformers version of a castle moat. There was something like a modern drawbridge, it was a steel and concrete barrier that a security guard had to lower underground so that authorized personnel could enter by driving over it.  It certainly seemed less menacing on that first visit in the bright sunlight!  

​Regardless, it was now showtime.  In other words, this was not the time to freak out, so I resolved to give them my best performance, then deal with my car situation afterward. By the time I was signed in and all the materials hauled in from the car, word had spread about my "incident." My contact at the facility and his colleagues apologized profusely, and offered to cancel the presentation. I insisted on moving forward with what was most important, and they seemed surprised by my commitment to them, and my ability to focus. I was clear on my purpose for being there, and summoned enough self respect not to compromise my own professionalism.

In hindsight, I understood that I was ready to deliver only because was able to set aside the stress and worry for a later time... I didn't let it consume me.

As the employees filtered into the training room, they told me how extremely lucky I was because there had been two other incidents recently; one car was totaled and the other (a large delivery truck) had one of its axles pulled off entirely! My eyes widened and I'm sure my jaw dropped momentarily before I laughed it off and continued prepping for the presentation.  Boy, was I really glad it hadn't gone that way for me! (Besides, my husband would have freaked out, lol.)

Even in the heat of the moment, you can make a conscious decision to stick to the plan -  or you can wig out.

They all said how impressed they were that I did not allow this “excitement of the month” event to derail me from delivering what I had intended. In fact, the feedback was excellent from the attendees and leadership alike regarding the value of the training. (Yay, that is always welcomed!)

Respect really went both ways that day. They were very generous, and went to great lengths to make sure the situation was taken care of.  Several of the guys looked over my car and made me feel comfortable while I waited several hours for a flatbed tow truck, and they even paid for replacement of my sliced tires. One of the directors changed one of my tires himself, and they even protected my cargo area with a company blanket (cashmere!). I still have it.

After telling others about this later, I realized that my focus skills really set me apart from the norm. I was grateful I had learned to deliberately place my attention where it needed to be, making a conscious decision to be fully focused on the mission, within seconds. In this situation, it really deepened the relationship with my client, and they hired me for additional contracts afterward.  This ability has proven priceless to me over the years!

Want to strengthen your ability to focus on your top priorities, no matter what's happening around you?

Here are a few easy-to-apply suggestions for staying on target when the pressure is on:

• First, be sure you can confidently state your top 1-3 priorities. Still working on this?  Try this guide.
• These questions can prove handy: "What is the best use of my time right now?" and "Can this wait for another time (or person)?"
• Consider what would happen if you reacted one way versus responded in another. (HINT: This is how you can choose your own ending!)
• Hold your focus on a specific task (or project, or conversation) for as long as you can, without shifting to other things. Most people have trouble with 5 minutes! Work up to 45 minutes over time. This helps train your mind, and calm your nervous system, helping you be less reactive.
• Have a place to collect the thoughts and to-dos that pop up while you're focusing on something else- because we are often afraid we'll forget so we give them more attention than they need in the moment.  This can be an app on your phone, or a notepad - whatever works for you. Note it quickly and put it aside.
• You can also apply these to a "regular chaotic" day - because you know it doesn't have to be something BIG to take you off course... Plus, the more you practice, the more naturally it comes when you really need it.

Ready to learn how I can help? Let's talk!

In the spirit of love and moxie,