Recently, I’ve noticed how much better I feel as a result of judging myself and others less. It’s a surprise, because I never thought of myself as “judgy.” I have always felt that people are equal, I don’t like gossip, and I consider myself a good person. I’m sure you can relate.
Things like a slow person crossing the street while I’m driving somewhere and running late (“Come on, come ON!”), or seeing a very strangely-dressed person and my ensuing raising of the brow, or noticing how I behave around certain people who like to gossip or bitch about others (and my thoughts about THEM later)—these all seemed like normal irritations with fleeting and seemingly harmless thoughts about others.
Until…
This year one of my areas for focus is healing my body image (yep, that’s out there now. Judge me if you like; I don’t really care any more. Ah, sweet triumph!) In the process of working on myself, I realized how disturbingly often I was judging myself. WOW. About all kinds of things! And hardly any of it fair or warranted (from anyone’s perspective). So while on this path, I’ve been in an interesting position of both observing and correcting my own behavior little by little, over months of time… By learning to be kinder to MYSELF, an unexpected bonus appeared.
POOF! One day I noticed my thoughts were also kinder regarding others. In really every situation. I had shifted so naturally because I was much harder on myself than I was on others –so of course as I learned to judge myself less, I did the same regarding other people.
It took some work, and frankly it kinda sucked to acknowledge how I was judging myself constantly without even realizing it fully. But we can’t correct what we don’t see, so I’m extremely thankful for this process and my growth. I am definitely more compassionate, although previously I would have said I was OK in that area. Now I can see that in less than 6 months my level of happiness has gone up, my sense of “rightness” with the world feels more solid, my appreciation for others’ unique gifts and circumstances is far greater, and I feel calmer as well.
Aaaaaahh, I’m so grateful for this unexpected extra on my path to peace of mind!!
Now, don’t get me wrong- I can still get annoyed or angry over some things. I’m not going for sainthood! But I will keep building my compassion “muscles” because I love what I’ve experienced so far.
Do you suspect, like me, you might be more judgmental than you thought you were? Could you see yourself setting an intention and actually working to be more compassionate with yourself and others?
hugs, Heather
Learning to be kinder to yourself leads to more compassion for others.