Many people, including my family, kept repeating to me that business was not for a woman and that it was so risky that I might get hurt (if you think –there are racketeers and mafia involved, whew!).
Like many of us, I grew up with parents who had regular jobs. My mother was a university teacher and father was a pediatrician. So, getting experience from family on starting a business was not an option for me. Having a business of my own was, however, in my mind since my childhood and I had to make somewhat of a long journey to get to that point.
The usual obstacles that you can relate to, I am sure, confronted me. First, it was the fact that I was a woman. Many people, including my family, kept repeating to me that business was not for a woman and that it was so risky that I might get hurt (including physical hurt – if you think there are racketeers and mafia involved, whew). Second, it was the idea – what was I going to offer that is not offered already and how was I going to compete with existing businesses? Third, supposedly, I needed a lot of capital – but for what, no one seemed to be able to specify. Fourth, I already had a good job and it was better to concentrate on my career and the stability it offered me. Next, there was the fact that women were generally more trusting, honest and naive than men in business, which would be a huge disadvantage. And so on… Oh, by the way, international business apparently was definitely not for a woman as there is a physical toll of traveling (which, I agree, can be hard on anyone) and supposed woman’s non-acceptance in this men-only tough business.
Busting through low self-esteem issues for women in international business!
Like Jane said in “Pride and Prejudice” – my courage always rose with every attempt to intimidate me. Though, I must say, it was a gradual process because the comments I was receiving were coming from people I respected and whose opinion had value to me. Therefore, I needed time to validate for myself whether all this was a myth or a reality through personal experience and endeavors. My inner determination, however, kept quietly pushing on toward my pursuit.
And so, I followed the usual normal flow of things – I finished my undergraduate and Master’s degrees in Business, entered the workforce and moved up the ladder as best as I could and spent 14 years in the corporate world. I value everything I learned and accomplished throughout this time. Perhaps, it was necessary for me to go through it because I did not have other business role-models and I had to learn it the hard way myself.
The first major breakthrough in terms of discovering my abilities and limits came at a time when I got involved in a two-year volunteer project.
This project stretched my abilities in every possible direction and opened brand new ones I never knew I had.
We decided to do a 2-day international business conference called “USA-Eurasia Business Conference” in Omaha, Nebraska. When I started this project, the layers of doubt and stereotypes were already deeply set in my mind, and I honestly thought I could never work with international people because they were so different in many ways, and it would be extremely hard to cooperate. Long story short, the event date was announced publicly, the community audience’s attention was set on me to see if I can do it (fyi – I had massive resistance from some very powerful people because I was a complete newbie in this game) and for the sake of my own reputation, I had to deliver it. And deliver I did. The city’s Mayor announced the day of the conference, October 11, 2010 as the USA-Eurasia Business Conference Day. We had 46 speakers, mostly CEOs and foreign Ambassadors, and nearly 300 registrants attending from 10 different countries and over 8 states, we raised all the funds we needed with 30% left over, and it was a grand event and a huge success. We opened new opportunities in international business for Nebraska businesses. This was something that was never done before (and to date, I have not seen anyone repeat the same).
The most important lesson I learned from it was that once you make a decision and are determined to reach your goal, nothing can stop you. It is actually possible. And there are no set rules or procedures on how to do it, you do it the way you feel is right, with your style. And no matter how much opposition or obstacles you may face, there will be others who are ready to join and help. The key is believing in your goal and pushing forward even in the darkest moments.
This project shattered my low self-esteem feelings about my own abilities! After this international conference, I could not stay in banking anymore. I discovered that there was much more I can do, especially, now in this international arena.
The next project I would work on would crash into pieces the rest of other myths related to women in business…
Learn more about Nilufar’s journey into starting her international business in her next post.
About the Author
Nilufar Salama is based in Omaha, NE and is co-founder and managing partner at SALAMA INTERNATIONAL TRADING & CONSULTING, LLC, operated jointly with her husband, Ahmed Salama. She is passionate about facilitating international business and her mission is help people close successful deals, grow their international business, or help start international business by offering them super simple, clear, proven tools, procedures and coaching. In addition to earning a master's degree, she has completed career stints in hard-core complex banking and international agriculture equipment projects in some of the toughest and most dangerous markets in the world. Nilufar is the author of multiple articles on international trade, has taught Finance and Investments courses as an adjunct professor, and is fluent in English, Russian and Uzbek languages.
This post is part of the Executive Moxie series of guest posts for women owners by women owners.