Projecting perspectives can be hazardous to our relationships and wastes precious time. Myopic thinking is a widespread problem! Why is it that we regularly project our thoughts, beliefs, and expectations onto others, assuming they'll respond as we would, and then get caught off guard or surprised when they don't? Continuing our 40,000 foot view series...
To recap the previous blogs in this series, remember:
- We form opinions and make judgements based upon our own myopic perspective without even realizing it.
- We tend to see the world through a personal lens shaped by our experiences, biases, and values, and assume others share the same perspective.
- This way of thinking can lead to misunderstandings, missed opportunities, and strained relationships.
The truth is our perception of the world is uniquely ours.
I routinely say (tongue-in-cheek) that we are all EXACTLY the same only DIFFERENT. Why is it that we regularly project our thoughts, beliefs, and expectations onto others, assuming they'll respond as we would, and then get caught off guard or surprised when they don't?
Let’s explore this a bit more…
Share with a friend!
Additionally, there seems to be an innate propensity in all of us to assume that others operate within the same paradigms we do. One of my favorite books, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey addresses the fact that each of us has our own personal philosophy and ‘center’. We make life choices and decisions based upon these intrinsic values. This doesn’t make one person’s values lesser or greater than another’s—they’re simply different.
Yet, how often do we act as if everyone should think, feel, prioritize, value, and behave the way we do? This is where we get tripped up!
We are all EXACTLY the same...only DIFFERENT!
We often struggle with controlling our own responses, and that is the only thing over which we can truly hope to have any control. With that in mind, here are some sayings worth pondering:
You may recall my chair example in the previous blog (It makes about as much sense to be mad at a person for being who they are as it makes sense to be mad at a chair for not being a table).
Let’s explore this a bit more by taking a 40,000-foot view approach.
Share with a friend!
By employing a few key strategies, we can better position ourselves to maintain composure and control, rather than being caught off guard when faced with unanticipated responses from others. Each of us has specific stimuli that can escalate our reactions. Step back and adopt a broader perspective and seek to identify those provocations and activating factors.
The goal is to catch them before they catch you off guard, allowing you to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively.
Another method is to review past events – reflect on them in your mind. Analyze what went well, what didn’t meet your expectations, and what changes you could have made that might have led to a better outcome. Create a plan and establish actionable steps that will be ready for you the next time a similar situation arises.
Examine both the external factors and your internal beliefs that shape your reactions. Consider if there is a recurring pattern that triggers feelings of vulnerability, defensiveness, reactivity, or heightened emotions. Create a list of these factors so you can identify them as potential triggers and incorporate strategies into your actionable plan.
The danger of myopic thinking is that it leads to misunderstandings, missed opportunities, and strained relationships.
This is where the ABC Model worksheet I created can come in handy. In the spirit of the 40,000-foot view, the worksheet encourages you to reflect on situations where outcomes didn’t go as planned. By examining a recent scenario, you can gain insights into your triggers and reactions before they escalate. The idea is to alternate between zooming in on the details of the situation and zooming out to see the broader context, much like the practice we’ve discussed before in adopting a wider perspective.
By using the worksheet to assess your reactions, you can recognize biases, understand the influence of your internal thought patterns, and even consider how others might view the same situation. This reflective process is invaluable in learning how to respond more thoughtfully rather than react impulsively, especially when navigating complex personal or professional interactions.
If you’re curious about applying this method more deeply in your own life, I encourage you to explore the ABC Model worksheet for a more thorough approach. It offers a structured way to assess your responses and gain clarity on how to shift your perspective effectively.
The ABC Model and the Going for PAR in Communication worksheets support the DISC Model of Human Behavior assessment tool. If you would like more information or are interested in learning more, reach out to me today.