Is it possible that you’ve been holding yourself back because you’re afraid of REAL success? I’ve been a bit surprised by this being fairly common among my clients. Previously, I would have guessed that more people were afraid of failure. But for driven, talented people –they know they can get things done. Sure, they don’t want to fail, or look the fool in front of others. But, moreso they are afraid of WHO they will become when they achieve REAL success.
I’m on a mission to debunk the myths behind this fear and help you move forward and experience the life you deserve!
Let’s start with deserv-ability. Did you cringe a bit when you read that last bit? Maybe you thought:
“What if I DON’T deserve a great life?!”
If you’ve been following my work at all these past several years, you know how much this one gets under my skin. EVERYONE DESERVES TO BE HAPPY! And, by the way, happiness and wealth are NOT mutually exclusive. Nope, not even a little bit. This means there is nothing wrong with wanting to accumulate wealth for a level of comfort, in order to do more good in the world, or for whatever you want (the only caveat I hold firmly is that no one else is harmed in the pursuit of one’s happiness). Think about it: a poor person has limited means for doing good and inspiring others.
Consider that we each have a duty to be our best for our own sake, as well as for others! It took me some real soul-searching to get right with this one. Fortunately I have found many examples of people that I truly respect that built wealth, and use it for lots of good. Give up the notion that you have to be a martyr to be a good example!
Fear of the unknown? Of course it is easier to know than to imagine, thus it is difficult to picture what life outside the Familiarity Zone might entail. This one is basically just human nature, but can be overcome by doing. All fear lives in the IMAGINATION. You’ve already proven to yourself you can stretch and grow many times throughout your life. Stop letting this one hold you back.
Afraid of who you might become? Start questioning any beliefs you have held that misled you into thinking that being successful means being someone you might not like.
What if I get too busy, or become an asshole?
Ha! That could happen if you’re not successful too. REAL SUCCESS means having clear priorities and following through with what you said you were going to do. If that includes having a lucrative business, enjoy home-cooked dinners with people you love, take your family on the best vacations, and x, y, and z- that’s great! We are ALL a self-fulfilling prophecy. Assume the best for yourself, make a plan, and get after it.
How to be Effective while still Enjoying life? I tend to be “all or nothing” so I get it- it seems difficult to imagine being a Go-Getter AND being good at relaxing. It really only takes presence of mind. Seriously. It is that simple. Be here and now with whatever you are doing. The first step is probably to allow yourself to learn this skill and master the art of having it all. Including Peace of Mind.
Celebrate your wins. Thinking bigger is much easier when you learn to recognize the many things that have gone well. Blasting through your fears is easier when you believe in ability to overcome challenges. Expressing gratitude every day sure helps a lot too. Practice regularly…
The Quickie, Straight-to-the-Point Version:
1. You deserve all the good you desire.
2. Take a step out of the Familiarity Zone toward what you want.
3. Decide who you WANT to become, and keep your priorities.
4. Be here when you’re here, and there when you’re there.
5. Celebrate your life!
What are you waiting for?
